Anxiety is a Trickster

Adventures in String Art

Anxiety trickster

Other than a fantastic lunch with a new friend, yesterday was a mostly crappy day filled with many things not panning out the way they were supposed to, feeling like I’ve been spinning my wheels and accomplishing nothing, and a lingering cough that–despite a trip to the doctor and multiple natural and very unnatural medications–seems to only be intensifying.

I signed up to take a string art workshop in the afternoon, and it felt like the universe was conspiring against me getting there. Old me would have taken the multiple missed/wrong turns (traffic circles are the worst!), emergency stop for gas, and sloooowww moving interstate traffic as a sign that I shouldn’t go, that there​ was a reason all of this was happening, it’s completely unacceptable and unprofessional to show up late, and I should retreat back to the safety of home because, obviously, SOMETHING bad would happen if I continued on this path.

Anxiety is a Trickster

Anxiety is the greatest trickster and will make you believe that everything is out to destroy you. Years of practice with talking back to this inner catastrophizer and wannabe psychic helped me get to the place where I could use tools to calm my mind and my shaky hands, and get my head out of the scenes of destruction that were playing on repeat in my head, and back in 4:15pm on Friday, March 24th.

The truth is, had I taken the time to check in with myself before I left, I would have noticed the building anxiety, done something about it, gotten gas earlier in the day, and I probably wouldn’t have made so many wrong turns along the way. Anxiety breeds behaviors that cause more anxiety. It’s a cycle, that only the person caught in it can stop, and it begins with pausing long enough to notice how you’re​ feeling.

…Anyways, I made it to the workshop. I was late. No one cared. And if they did, they were gracious enough not to say anything. I made this string art for my son. He loved it, and it’s safe to assume Yoki likes it too.